You’re Sam Bankman-Fried, a former Jane Street trader who just discovered crypto. The market is wildly inefficient. What do you do?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

I’ll exploit arbitrage! Buy Bitcoin in the U.S., sell it in Japan for a higher price, and rake in millions.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

You successfully make $20 million. People now think you’re a financial prodigy.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

You have money and a reputation. What’s next?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

I’ll start a crypto trading firm and name it ‘Alameda Research’ to make it sound like we do serious work.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Alameda is born! No one questions why a ‘research’ firm is actually a high-risk trading shop.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Alameda is making money, but crypto is volatile. Sometimes you lose big. How do you stay afloat?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Eh, I’ll ‘borrow’ customer funds to cover bad bets. It’s just temporary.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

You’ve now introduced fraud into your business model! Let’s see how that works out later.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

You realize existing crypto exchanges are clunky and inefficient. What do you do?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Start my own! I’ll call it FTX and build all sorts of ‘innovative’ trading products—leveraged tokens, derivatives, and ridiculous 100x leverage.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

FTX launches and gamblers—I mean, traders—love it. Investors are impressed. You’re gaining influence.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

You need to raise funds. How do you convince investors?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Easy. I’ll play League of Legends during my pitch meeting with Sequoia and still get them to invest!

01:10 AM · Apr 01

They publish a glowing profile calling you a ‘future trillionaire.’

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Your exchange is growing, but you need more liquidity. What’s your plan?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

I’ll launch my own token, FTT, and make it valuable by keeping most of it in Alameda’s hands.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

FTT becomes a money printer. You now have an illusion of value, and investors don’t ask too many questions.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

FTX is booming, and you’re now a billionaire. How do you spend your money?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Super Bowl ads! Naming rights for the Miami Heat arena! Get Tom Brady and Gisele to shill for us!

01:10 AM · Apr 01

FTX’s brand skyrockets, and people see you as crypto’s responsible leader.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

You also start donating millions to politicians. Why?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Gotta hedge my bets! If regulators like me, they won’t investigate too hard.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

You become the second-largest donor to Joe Biden’s campaign. Washington loves you.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Alameda is making some bad trades and losing money. How do you fix it?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

No problem. I’ll secretly use FTX customer deposits to bail them out.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

You’ve now crossed into full-blown financial crime. But hey, no one’s noticed—yet.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

A leaked report shows that Alameda’s balance sheet is mostly made-up FTT tokens. People are getting nervous. What do you do?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

I’ll tweet ‘FTX is fine. Assets are fine.’ That should calm everyone down.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

It does not. Binance announces they’re dumping all their FTT, and now everyone wants out.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Customers are rushing to withdraw their funds, but you don’t have the money. What’s your next move?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

I’ll ask Binance to buy us out. Maybe CZ will save me.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Binance looks at your books, sees the mess, and backs out immediately.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

FTX is imploding. What do you do?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

File for bankruptcy and step down as CEO. That should make me look responsible, right?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Nope. Everyone now realizes you ran a massive Ponzi scheme.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Your empire has collapsed. Your personal fortune has gone from $26 billion to zero in days. How do you react?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Time for an apology tour! I’ll do interviews where I say ‘I didn’t knowingly commit fraud.’

01:10 AM · Apr 01

No one believes you. The FBI starts investigating.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

You’re still in the Bahamas. Maybe you should lay low? What do you do?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Nah, I’ll keep tweeting weird stuff and acting like nothing is wrong.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Bad move. You’re arrested in the Bahamas at the request of U.S. authorities.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

You’re facing seven felony charges, including fraud and conspiracy. How do you plead?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Not guilty! Maybe my awkward nerd charm will work in court.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

It won’t. Your closest allies—including your ex-girlfriend, Caroline Ellison—have flipped on you.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

The jury has heard all the evidence. Any final strategy?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

I’ll say I just made some accounting mistakes.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

The jury doesn’t buy it. You’re found guilty on all counts.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Time for sentencing. Any last words?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

I’d like to remind the court that I’m a vegan.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

The judge is unmoved. You’re sentenced to 25 years in federal prison.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

FTX’s bankruptcy team is recovering billions. Customers might actually get some money back. What do you say?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

So I didn’t really commit fraud, right?

01:10 AM · Apr 01

The court disagrees. Enjoy your time in Club Fed.

01:10 AM · Apr 01

Game Failed. Unfortunately, your startup ran out of money and had to shut down.